Looking for someone who speaks English :-)

Heike · Post by **Heike** » 08 May 2018, 13:42

I am looking for someone to look into one of my translated children's books (PDF eBook). I am not sure if my translation is good or bad.

I am a children's book author of a book series that is popular in Germany. That's why I want to translate the books gradually into English.

It would also be enough if someone on the website only looks at a reading sample.
https://childrensbook-it.jimdofree.com/

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » 08 May 2018, 14:37

I have read the start of your story Heike - at the moment your translation sounds very German. By that I mean the order in which you place words. For example, you write "You have enough eaten." We say "You have eaten enough." There are many such instances in the passage. If you like I can re-write a paragraph or more to give you an idea of the way we would say it in English. If you like, I can send it to you on the private email messaging which we can use through this site.

Heike · Post by **Heike** » 08 May 2018, 14:45

Hello Daisy.
Many many thanks. I can correct that in my books. I would be very grateful if you could look at a section so I know what else to change.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » 08 May 2018, 14:46

Right I will do that and send it by private email (PM)

sixret · Post by **sixret** » 08 May 2018, 14:52

I've just read this thread. Thank you so much for helping Heike, Daisy.

Heike · Post by **Heike** » 08 May 2018, 14:54

Yes, thank you, Daisy.
When I've corrected the books, you get them for free.

sixret · Post by **sixret** » 08 May 2018, 14:55

Thank you, Heike.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » 08 May 2018, 15:07

I have sent the first piece Heike.

KEVP · Post by **KEVP** » 08 May 2018, 18:02

Yes, I also looked at your website and I am afraid it is very clear that this was written by someone who does not speak English as their first language. The grammar and word order is absolutely not English. I hope you are not offended by my bluntness.

My recommendation would be to hire a professional translator. If there are many books in the series, you probably shouldn't rely on volunteers. You can rely on a volunteer for something short, but no for a whole series of books!

Heike · Post by **Heike** » 08 May 2018, 18:08

Thank you, KEVP.
I feared it and I'm not offended. With the help of Daisy, I'll try it myself. If it does not work, I have to give it up. At the moment I have 37 books that I wanted to translate.

Courtenay · Post by **Courtenay** » 08 May 2018, 18:31

Hello Heike,

I think KEVP is right — if you want to translate so many books, you will really need to hire a professional translator. Books that aren't translated very well (in any language!) are very difficult to read and won't sell well.

It's wonderful that you've written so many books and they are popular — I hope you do find a good translator and English readers will enjoy them too!

Heike · Post by **Heike** » 10 May 2018, 08:08

Thank you, Courtenay.
First, I would like to translate only three books. That I have already published in single volumes and as a collection.

Dick Kirrin · Post by **Dick Kirrin** » 10 May 2018, 09:46

Well, Heike, if you permit me being frank, you do what my pupils do: You use German word order and German grammar with English words.

Daisy gave you a few examples... so let me cheer you up a bit: It can be learnt, but it requires a bit of time. What I would do if I were in your situation is:
I would start reading kids' fiction in English, as that is your genre. Also, youtube has all or nearly all episodes of the Famous Five, both the good old 1970s version and the beautifully decorated but horribly lacking in the quality of the acting, 1990s version. However, it is the dialogues and the way actions, thoughts and feelings are expressed that matters to you.

If you want to see how people - in that case me - so I am terribly sorry for blowing my own trumpet

can get up to a somewhat readable standard you can have a look over here on the forums for some fanfic I wrote with Daisy.
There are more stories online that can be read on the society website, stories written by native speakers that is. Those require Society membership, though. The password is in the current EB Society journal.
Another option would be Harry Potter if that is your cup of tea.

Heike · Post by **Heike** » 10 May 2018, 10:39

Hello Dick Kirrin.

Thank you so much for the motivation.
Now I have found many of fanfictions there:
http://www.enidblyton.net/fanfic.html

Now I will be learning better.

My texts had translated with the Google Translator, but I think, the Translator of Microsoft is better.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » 10 May 2018, 10:45

Most electronic translators leave a lot to be desired!

Looking for someone who speaks English :-)

Looking for someone who speaks English :-)

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