Preferred form of address on the forum

[Boodi 2]

This may seem like a silly question, but it is an issue that has bothered me for some time and concerns the correct/preferred/most appropriate form of address when replying to posts from other members of the forum. While I don't think twice about user names that sound like real names (e.g. Anita, Pete, Tony, Wolfgang etc) I am always unsure when it comes to user names such as my own that differ from the person's actual name and do not know if it is best to refer to myself as Boodi or as Monique (my real name), which also applies to members such as Lucky Star, Boatbuilder and Darrell. Although a minor issue, any guidance or advice would be much appreciated!!!

Thanks in advance and cheers,
Boodi/Monique

[Boatbuilder]

I don't mind either form, Monique, as no doubt you have seen either my name or username used. I suppose the confusion can arise when two members have the same Christian name so to be on the safe side it becomes necessary to indicate which 'John' for example, one is referring to - John (BB) or John (LS) 'Lucky Star'.

Of course we don't really know for certain if actual Christian names used in usernames are those persons real names, unless we know them personally.

John

[Boodi 2]

Thanks John/BB!
Like you, I don't mind which form is used. However, I did realize that several members have the same christian name, which can lead to confusion, thus making the user name preferable.

As you say, the user names that sound like real names may not in fact be that person's actual name.

[John Pickup]

I use a person's real name if I have met them and been introduced. I have met Moonraker many times and call him Nigel as I would if we were together. Likewise Lucky Star. I have met Eddie too but I don't call him by his real name on here as he doesn't like people to know he is Mick Jagger.

[Boodi 2]

Thanks John Pickup! Unfortunately I have never met any fellow forum members, which would indicate that it would be best to continue to address them by their user names (and to avoid confusion).

I love Mick Jagger

[Viv of Ginger Pop]

Ah - but you should see Eddie's moves...

Viv

[Daisy]

I use a person's real name if I have met them and been introduced. I have met Moonraker many times and call him Nigel as I would if we were together. Likewise Lucky Star. I have met Eddie too but I don't call him by his real name on here as he doesn't like people to know he is Mick Jagger.

John. Eddie will love that one.

Like you I will use a person's real name if I've met them. When I joined the Society it seemed the thing to choose a name and it was suggested to me that I chose Daisy - after Daisy Daykin in the Find-Outers series. I'm quite happy for people to address me by me real name though, if they so wish.

[Boatbuilder]

Thanks John Pickup! Unfortunately I have never met any fellow forum members, which would indicate that it would be best to continue to address them by their user names (and to avoid confusion).

Monique, I don't see that it matters, even if you haven't met them, as long as that person, like myself, is OK with it. In fact I think it makes for a friendlier atmosphere, as what are obviously usernames can sometimes sound rather impersonal.

John

[Boodi 2]

Thanks John! The friendlier atmosphere was my main concern, due to the situation with German and French where one has a choice between a formal and informal form of "you", which I still find difficult at times. When we first moved here I played by the rules and addressed people I did not know well formally (using "Sie" instead of "du") until one day somebody asked me why I addressed her as "Sie" and did I not wish to be friendly? She understood when I explained my reasons, but her comment made a lasting impression on me, hence my concern about being either too formal or too familiar!!!

[Anita Bensoussane]

I don't think it matters which one you use either - unless the person has said that they really don't want their real name to be used on the forums.

[Boatbuilder]

I would think in that case, Anita, they should keep their real name private and should they for some reason happen to use it in a PM to another member, ask them to ensure it is kept private.

Several years ago I asked a member of my own forum if she would like to become a moderator. After she accepted I asked her what her name was as it seemed that as we would be communicating in the moderators section that is private, we should be able to communicate by name. She did tell me but at the same time asked that I keep it private (off the forum) owing to the sensitive nature of the work she was involved in at that time.

[Fiona1986]

I generally use real names for people I feel like I know - even if I haven't met them in person. Exceptions are that even though I've met Ilsa in person I'm too used to calling her Daisy!

Though, I find it slightly more awkward when I only know the person's name due to other people knowing it. For example I only know that Boatbuilder is John because other people call him John. As above it's clear he is happy to be referred to as either but it can feel a bit odd at first for me to use someone's name when I've not been 'introduced' as it were. (That sound so stuffy, which I'm not, honest!)

I think if some people are calling users by a real name then it's probably OK for everyone to do it - all that really matters is that we know who you're referring to.

[Eddie Muir]

I have met Eddie too but I don't call him by his real name on here as he doesn't like people to know he is Mick Jagger.

Now my secret is out!

[Hannah]

I usually use the user name so that everyone knows whom I mean. It's happened several times that someone was referring to another forum member with a Christian name and I didn't know who that person was. Some people have a name in the signature (like Boatbuilder - though even there it's not clear at first sight if it is his page or the page of someone else called John) but not everyone. So if someone wrote "as Monique already pointed out" I wouldn't have known they were talking about a posting by Boodi2 before I saw this thread. That can be a bit confusing in discussions for people who don't know many of the names.

My real name isn't Hannah but I love that name and decided many years ago to use it in some forums .

[Lucky Star]

Like others I do not really mind if forumites call me John or Lucky Star or just LS. I too use real names for people I have met and usernames for those I haven't but I'm personally OK with anyone using either of my names on here. Thankfully this is a relatively small and friendly forum and so a fairly informal system works well here.

And Sir Mick is a very nice fellow indeed.