English Grammar, Spelling and Vocabulary

[IceMaiden]

I wonder if our English sentences translate as funny into other languages? Here's a few other peculiar instructions complaints and notices I found:

On a Japanese hotel’s website:
Beautiful green, seasonal flowers, and carps in the pond are waiting for you.
Is the public bath hot spring?
Tofu is made of soybeans, water, and magnesium chloride.
Here is tasteful Kyoto that you have been thinking of!
The link is free and there is not getting in touch on the occasion of the link in this page, being necessary.
Is there a laundry machine? Yes. It is on the roof top of our hotel.

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Arctic River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a sign in Japan: Do not lean on gate for it occurs you Trouble.

On a poster at Fight Illiteracy: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Hotel room notice in Chiang-Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM

Hotel brochure in Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN UP IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

In an East African newspaper: A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE CREAM.

One of the Mathare buildings: MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTER.

[Fiona1986]

On a poster at Fight Illiteracy: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

I read this twice looking for the mistake/bad grammar before I realised the issue ...

Rather like the TV News presenter who looked into the camera and described how many homes were without power in the area and made assurances to those affected that things would be resolved soon.

[sixret]

I admit that I am weak at English Tenses. Tenses are so confusing for me. There is not tenses in Malay language.

For example:

The house is robbed by two men.

The house was robbed by two men.

The house has been robbed by two men.

The house had been robbed by two men.


I do not know which sentence above is the correct one.


Aqq dies.

Aqq has died.

Aqq died.

I have always encountered these three sentences when someone famous died(or is it had died?). So which one is the correct one?

I am sure Tenses come as natural to native English speakers or people who speak English as their first language. But I struggle to determine which tense to use everytime I write the sentences!

I have always looked at all of your(all forumites here) sentences very carefully. The way you use tenses. This has been my secret!

[Fiona1986]

The house is robbed by two men isn't exactly wrong but it doesn't make the most sense. The "is" makes it sound more like a regular occurrence - like "the pub is visited by bankers after work" meaning that often, after work, bankers visit the pub.

was robbed, has been robbed and had been robbed are all past tense and absolutely fine. There are probably tiny distinctions as to which one you would use though.

Has been might be more likely if it is your house. "My house has been robbed" sounds like an immediate reaction of the owner (but also could be "my house has been robbed twice in the past"). And then "My house was robbed last week."

"The house had been robbed," is more of a comment from an unconnected person.

[Fiona1986]

Dies is wrong in the above, though.

Aqq skates (he goes skating), Aqq swims (he goes swimming), Aqq reads (he reads books), Aqq can die, but only once.

Aqq has died is perhaps breaking the news for the first time.

Aqq died isn't a sentence in its own right really but could be part of Aqq died on Tuesday (again, breaking the news or providing fact).

[sixret]

Thank you so much for your excellent explanation, Fiona. Very much appreciated.

[Courtenay]

You could use "_____ dies" (the present tense) if describing something that happens in a book or a play or a film, like "Valjean dies at the end of Les Miserables."

[sixret]

Thank you, Courtenay.

[Anita Bensoussane]

You also see "_____ dies" in newspaper headlines announcing someone's death, e.g.

Baroness Thatcher Dies

Boy Dies in Fairground Tragedy

[sixret]

Thank you, Anita. I have seen them. I have seen all the tenses being used when it comes to "die". Some papers use Zxq dies, some will use Zxq has died and some will use the headline of Zxq died. To people like me, those chosen tenses are really confusing.

[KEVP]

All of the tenses are correct. They are just used for different reasons. They have slightly different meanings.

[Fiona1986]

I hadn't thought of headlines where dies is shorter and snappier than has died. With famous people their name and dies is often seen but if it's man dies or mother of two
dies generally context is added or it makes little sense.

And with books/films that's true as well as I suppose the character dies every time you watch or read!

[Courtenay]

Changing the subject (if no-one minds!), I recently ordered a book from Australia that I wasn't able to get from a British seller. It came from Readings, one of my favourite bookshop chains in Melbourne, and they kindly threw in a free Readings bookmark, on the back of which is a list of "Words for a bibliophile".

A couple of them I knew already (we discussed "tsundoku" — a problem I definitely have! — in another thread some time ago, I remember), but the rest are new to me and it looks like some are quite clever (and tongue-in-cheek) new words made up to describe feelings and situations that I think everyone here will recognise. Here's the full list, copied from the bookmark:

Bibliosmia
noun The aroma of a good book.

Abibliophobia
noun The fear of running out of reading material.

Tsundoku
noun The condition of acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up in one's home without reading them.

Shelf-righteous
adjective The feeling of superiority about one's bookshelf.

Librocubicularist
noun A person who reads in bed.

Readultery
noun The act of being unfaithful to one book by reading another at the same time.

Angsticipation
noun The feeling when you finish the latest book in a series and there isn't a publication date for the next book in the series yet.

Logophile
noun A lover of words.

[Anita Bensoussane]

Love "shelf-righteous"! "Readultery" is a good'un too!

[Courtenay]

Yep. I'm not only shelf-righteous, but a serial readulterer.