Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

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Liam
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Liam »

Wolfgang wrote:I'm reading the Bloomsbury Omnibus edition from 1997, and I can't help getting the feeling that this version is abridged when comparing it to the German edition I use.
In chapter 6 It reads like this:
To their disappointment the children could not go that day to the castle, because Brock’s mother had planned a picnic for them. She was surprised when the three children did not seem pleased about it.

Next day the three children set off once more to the castle. They knew the way very well now and took a few short cuts so that it did not take them very long to arrive at the bottom of the hill. They stared up at the great castle, and it seemed to look down on them with a frown.
In the German edition there are some more paragraphs between the two, with Brock's mother complaining that they're not enthusiastic about the picnic (similar to George's mother in "Five on treasure island" when George isn't that happy to participate).
Could it have been edited for speed? Maybe someone thought the text needed speeding up a bit. Such a plot twist occurs in The Secret of Moon Castle, when the passage entrance was discovered, but it could not be explored at once because had to go to a swimming pool with Dimmy. There I thought the reason for it was actually to slow down the tempo, and create suspense, and so not seem contrived. But maybe this time the anticipation was not too close to the end, so there was no need to have the delay.
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Rob Houghton »

It was probably due to increasing the speed of the narrative. It certainly works, and the scene with the children and Auntie isn't really needed, but its interesting to see that these edits were made during Enid's lifetime. I wonder how early they were made? Presumably by the time they were republished as Enid Blyton books?

Wolfgang - it would be interesting to hear of any other instances where text has been altered. :-)
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Wolfgang »

I suppose so, Robert, I suppose so...
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Wolfgang »

Well, Robert, just for you I started a thorough comparison between my English edition and the German edition. I suppose you're more interested in changes of the English edition to check out, so I'll only give the passages where I think the English edition is shortened.

First chapter, quite at the beginning:
‘Be good!’ called Mother. ‘Goodbye! Have a lovely holiday! Give my love to Auntie Hetty.’

Missing the description, how the children feel about the journey

‘I hope Brock will be at the station to meet us,’ said Peter. ‘Good old Brock. It will be lovely to see his round, smiling face again.’
A bit further down:
‘Do you really?’ said Pam, feeling all excited too. ‘Oooh, I hope we do have some. I’d like some. School was so dull last term that I could do with something exciting in the hols!’

Missing the description about the train after the change

‘Goodness! Isn’t it slow, after the express!’ said Pam. ‘We could almost lean out of the window and pick flowers off the bank!’
In the second chapter I didn't come across anything that seem to be missing. As I said in a previous post, I don't think the German translation is that good, so it's quite possible that things might have been added.
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Rob Houghton »

Thanks Wolfgang. It actually looks as though the German version is the original Mary Pollock version. Now I know how frequent these changes are, I will have a good look through my copies, as I have a couple. Comparing my Mary Pollock (1947) edition to the Armada paperback version (which seems to be the same as the 1960's Double version) I can see the changes you point out.

I think its a shame they took some of them out, as it takes away the atmosphere. For example, the paperback reads -

"Goodbye, Mother! Goodbye!"
"Be good!" called Mother. "Goodbye! Have a lovely holiday! Give my love to Auntie Hetty!"
"I hope Brock will be at the station to meet us," said Peter.... etc

Originally the passage was longer and more descriptive -

"Goodbye, Mother! Goodbye!"
"Be good!" called Mother. "Goodbye! Have a lovely holiday! Give my love to Auntie Hetty!"
The train went round a corner, and the two children could no longer see their mother. They sank back in their seats and looked at one another, trying to hide their excitement. It was such fun to go off on holiday alone like this. They had never been a long journey in a train by themselves before.
"I hope Brock will be at the station to meet us," said Peter...


Later on, as Wolfgang says, Mary Pollock's version has this description -

..."Do you really?" said Pam, feeling all excited too. "Ooh, I hope we do have some. School was so dull last term that I could do with something exciting in the hols!"
The train went off, panting and puffing, for it was a small, slow train, drawn by an old fashioned express...
"Goodness, isn't it slow, after the express!" said Pam...
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Rob Houghton
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Rob Houghton »

In Chapter four, the paperback reads -

'...There was a large knocker, which the children longed to use - but which, of course, they dared not touch!

"Let's go all round the castle and see what we can see," said Pam.



The original was again more descriptive -


There was a large knocker, which the children longed to use - but which, of course, they dared not touch!

"What a lot of steps go up to the front door!" said Peter, standing at the top of the flight and looking down it. "It must have cost an awful lot of money to build this place. The walls look as thick as thick can be - made of solid stone!"

"Lets go all round the castle and see what we can see," said Pam.



There are many other odd lines that have been missed out, such as one where the children are looking down the steep cliff behind the castle and Brock speaks -

"Isn't it queer?" said Brock, peering over the edge of the steep cliff. "I shouldn't care to fall down there!"
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Wolfgang »

Smuggler Ben of the Bloomsbury edition is also shortened, but not in the Werner Laurie edition (comparison based on my German edition). It is a pity that Cliff Castle wasn't published by Werner Laurie as well. It's also a pity (for me) that the Adventury treasury features Smuggler Ben completely and not Cliff Castle ;-).
The last German edition of Cliff Castle is also shortened.
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Rob Houghton »

Yes, now I've checked my Werner Laurie Smuggler Ben against the paperback, I see there are some edits. For example, the paperback reads -

...to the left was another room, whose walls were covered with bookshelves lined with books. The children stared at them in surprise.
"The man who owns this house is someone who is interested in olden times," said Mother...
etc


In the original version -

To their left was another room, whose walls were covered with bookshelves lined with books. The children stared at them in surprise.
"What a lot of books!" said Alec. "Do they belong to the person who let you the house, Mother? Was he a very learned person? These books look awfully dull."
"The man who owns this house is someone who is interested in olden times," said Mother...


Later on, the paperback says -

...Mother said she would clear away the tea when they had gone down to the beach.
In half an hour all the unpacking was done and the children were free to go to the beach...


In the original -

Mother said she would clear away the tea when they had gone down to the beach.

"I know you're longing to do that," she said, with a smile. "But you must just come and unpack a few things with me. You girls can carry the things to the bedrooms and arrange them neatly in the chests-of-drawers there. Alec can undo everything."

In half an hour all the packing was done and the children were free to go to the beach...


The paperback version, in my view, makes the text seem more clumsy and less well thought out - due to the repetition of the word 'beach' in two consecutive sentences, whereas in the original these were separated by a paragraph.

When the children go to the beach, more descriptions are missing - start of Chapter Two -

paperback --

Gleaming shells lay here and there, pink as the sunset.

There were big rocks sticking up everywhere, and around them were deep and shallow pools...


original --

Gleaming shells lay here and there, pink as the sunset.

The sound of the sea boomed in their ears as they ran over the sands. They felt joyous and happy. There was something wonderful about the seaside. It was all so new and fresh and clean, and the noise the sea made was lovely. The crying gulls went with it, and the children felt as if they could almost burst with joy.

There were big rocks sticking up everywhere, and around them were deep and shallow pools...


paperback -

...They came from a big seaside town not far off where many trippers went. The children watched them fly past, the white spray flying up into the air.

They wandered along by the sea...


original --

...They came from a big seaside town not far off where many trippers went. The children watched them fly past, the white spray flying up into the air.

"That looks great fun," said Alec. "I hope we manage to get a boat to go rowing and fishing in, don't you, girls? An ordinary boat, I mean. Perhaps Mother would see if there's one to be had here. Maybe one of the fishermen would let us hire one for ourselves."

They wandered along by the sea...



It seems odd the paperback omits the last example - its integral to the plot, and establishes that the children are hoping to hire a boat of their own, and yet the paperback doesn't mention this!
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Kate Mary »

What a shame that the Collins omnibus editions are abridged, they are the ones I had as a child and still have. I've checked the text of Smuggler Ben in the Adventure Treasury and this has the missing passages so it's the unabridged version. Pity they didn't do all of Cliff Castle too.
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Liam »

Rob Houghton wrote:I think its a shame they took some of them out, as it takes away the atmosphere. For example, the paperback reads -

The train went round a corner, and the two children could no longer see their mother. They sank back in their seats and looked at one another, trying to hide their excitement. It was such fun to go off on holiday alone like this. They had never been a long journey in a train by themselves before.

Later on, as Wolfgang says, Mary Pollock's version has this description -

The train went off, panting and puffing, for it was a small, slow train, drawn by an old fashioned express...
I agree. And that would explain why I could not recall anything from the first couple of chapters - they sped by so fast. Those two paragraphs allow you to savor the train journey. The edits ended up taking out the poetry from the book. In hindsight it’s obvious that the very description of the children’s excitement at the vacation is what gives the reader the feeling of excitement at reading the book, since the reader lives through the characters for the duration of the book.

The first edit quoted by Wolfgang - the picnic with Brock’s mother - did not take anything away from the excitement because the adventure was in full swing. If anything it added to the excitement by speeding it up. But the train journey out to the vacation place is not about action, but atmosphere, so cutting into that diminished the experience for the reader.
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Rob Houghton »

I agree. I can sort of understand why they would take some of the descriptions out once the plot has started, to speed it up - although personally I'd rather they hadn't - but the atmospheric descriptions on the train really do help set the scene, develop the characters, and give the reader the excited 'holiday feeling'.

Mind you, I'm saying 'they' -- but presumably the edits were approved by Enid, as they seem to have been made within her lifetime?
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Chrissie777 »

Rob Houghton wrote:...I'm enjoying Cliff Castle, but I've finally come to the conclusion its not half such a good book as Smuggler Ben. Its enjoyable, but I rated it much higher in the past, so I was a bit surprised to read it now and get a totally different impression! :lol:
So far I've only read a German translation of "Smuggler Ben" which I didn't care for (this was before 1988), so I'll try it once more in the future with an old English copy.
"Cliff Castle" appealed much more to me (probably because of the similarity to "Castle of Adventure") in German and in English, with one exception: EB/Pollock using the word "queer" ad nauseam. :roll:
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Rob Houghton »

I must admit I never really noticed the constant use of the word 'queer' - it didn't leap out at me as much as the word 'blackberries' in 'The Hideyhole, anyway! ;-)

Now I've finished Cliff Castle I must say the second half is thrilling, and I would agree its one of Enid's best stand-alone novels. Considering its short length, its a very exciting read for the most part, after a slightly slow start. :-D
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by Liam »

One thing that stood out for me in Cliff Castle was the risks Brock took, for example going up to the tower room even though the men’s footprints were seen to lead there. I know Enid gave the reason, that he is fearless. But it didn’t seem realistic to me. Of course there would be no adventure without risks. I suppose this is another reason I could not write an adventure story. I would be too cautious. But I do admire Enid for being so daring, and not afraid to put the characters in dangerous situations. She understood that the greater the risks, the greater the adventure. But maybe the fact that I was slightly unconvinced meant that Enid’s skill was not at its best yet, because this was an earlier work. Another indirect bit of evidence to support the theory that Cliff Castle was written much earlier than its publication date of 1943.
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Re: Readathon - Smuggler Ben and Cliff Castle

Post by shadow »

Just finished Cliff Castle and I agree about the risks that Brock took. He stated at the beginning that he was scared to go to the castle alone and then suddenly he's involving everyone in dangerous exploits. When they went across to the window using the tree branch I thought (with my adult thoughts) what if the door is locked, how on earth are they going to grab the tree branch and go back the way they came. I did notice that Enid never did have the children go back the other way!
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