The Enid Blyton Society

Members of the junior detective team the Famous Five have all been served with Anti Social Behaviour Orders for repeatedly wasting police time. ‘We’re fed up with getting daily phone-calls from these posh kids saying that they have uncovered some smuggling ring or planned bank heist,’ explained a police spokesman. ‘It’s always just some perfectly innocent blokes who’ve been on a booze cruise to France or a man just going to a cashpoint machine. They need to stop sticking their nose in other people’s business and wasting our time.’

Neighbours of the Famous Five have welcomed the ASBOs, having themselves complained repeatedly to the police about their constant accusations of criminality just because they have working class accents. ‘What are they doing out and about on their own all day anyway?’ said one neighbour. ‘They should be inside playing computer games or something. And what’s with the ginger beer? Why can’t they drink cider like all the other kids?’

The terms of the ASBOs are extremely severe, and if they are breached, then Julian, Dick, Anne and George will be moved to the inner-cities where they will discover just how much fun it is trying to uncover crimes on a drug-ridden council estate. ‘We think the crack gangs might have something to say about these private school kids trying moving onto their patch. And Timmy might not last too long against their pit bull terriers either.’

Posted: Apr 12th, 2008 by ianslat