The Enid Blyton Society

IceMaiden wrote:

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Some good ones there - to brighten a wet and dreary Monday morning!

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Oh dear!

Good one Pete!

Oh no... just as well he's not delivering it to this lady...

That's a good one Dave.

That's not King Harold, is it?? (I've just spent a couple of days in Hastings!)

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget.

They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. “You might want to write it down,” she said. The husband said, “No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream.”

She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. “Write it down,” she told him, and again he said, “No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.”

Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. “Write it down,” she told her husband and again he said, “No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon.

The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, “Where’s the toast?”

A father goes fishing to the lake with his son.
After a while the son asks: “Dad, what is an alcoholic?”
His dad thinks for a moment, then he gets an idea how to explain this to his son.
“See, my son” he says pointing over the lake “Do you see those 2 trees over there? Well, an alcoholic would think there would be 4 trees”. “Do you get it?”
“But Dad” says his son “There is only one tree over there!”

Just bought a dog off an iron monger. First thing it did was make a bolt for the door.