Jokes

[pete9012S]

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter.....

Brilliant!
Really enjoyed that one.Thanks.

[Mehul]

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Considering the way she took that message, the bold part is likely to be true.

[Courtenay]

I was just on the phone with a friend earlier and heard this from her — she'd just been looking (online, I think) for some bamboo fibre socks, which of course are supposed to "breathe" better than synthetic materials. One review of them, as she related, had an unfortunate typo: "These socks will keep your feet from swearing."

[Machupicchu14]

Haha
Maybe some people should try them!!!

[Courtenay]

Yep. My friend finished the phone call with "Well, I think my feet have stopped swearing now!!"

[Machupicchu14]

Lol

[pete9012S]

[Courtenay]

Groan.

[Katharine]

I was just on the phone with a friend earlier and heard this from her — she'd just been looking (online, I think) for some bamboo fibre socks, which of course are supposed to "breathe" better than synthetic materials. One review of them, as she related, had an unfortunate typo: "These socks will keep your feet from swearing."

I bought some of those last week. They are the most comfortable socks I've ever worn. As I rarely swear, I can't say I've noticed a difference in my vocabulary though.

[Domino]

I know many of you like Bob Newhart's records. I thought you might like to hear the man who did this kind of act before him.

http://www.dropshots.com/Domino43/date/ ... 9/11:06:17" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Shelley Berman always felt that Bob Newhart stole his act. Newhart's defence was that many comedians as far back as the 1920s had acts built around imaginary telephone conversations. Whilst this was true in itself, his act was a lot closer to Berman's than any of the others. What really annoyed Shelley Berman, though, was when he found himself accused of plagiarising Newhart, which was manifestly unjust.

Dave

[pete9012S]

[Lucky Star]

Is that actually real or one of your jokes pete?

[Anita Bensoussane]

I'm sure Pete has worked his magic on that! It's just as well, because if it were a real listing all that naked flesh would put people off buying the book!

[Courtenay]

Or it might make some people want to buy the book, if they thought the girl comes with it...

[John Pickup]

I've only just noticed the book!