Jokes

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Lucky Star
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lucky Star »

Rob Houghton wrote:This will be our ancestors in 100 years time in the Tate... ;-)
"Cough, Cough" I hate to be a grammar Nazi but that should be descendents. Our ancestors are already dead.

Sorry. :oops:
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Rob Houghton
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Re: Jokes

Post by Rob Houghton »

Quite true. :oops:
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Daisy
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Re: Jokes

Post by Daisy »

I nearly commented on that too, but with Dave mentioning the Tardis straight afterwards I thought there was maybe some subtle joke there which I couldn't see!
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KEVP
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Re: Jokes

Post by KEVP »

( I guess I assumed that in 100 years time, the people will go to the Tate, and see artwork like this exhibited, and they will use it to try to understand THEIR ancestors. Yeah, I tend to overthink things.)
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Rob Houghton
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Re: Jokes

Post by Rob Houghton »

Shame on me, as I've traced my ancestors back to the 1740's - so i should know better! :(
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Courtenay
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Re: Jokes

Post by Courtenay »

Lucky Star wrote: "Cough, Cough" I hate to be a grammar Nazi but that should be descendents.
Shouldn't that be a vocabulary Nazi?? :twisted: :wink: :wink:
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pete9012S
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Re: Jokes

Post by pete9012S »

This reminded me of this:
Julian Kirrin:
‘My mother had a great-aunt who lived in Cornwall all her life. So we’re not exactly “furriners”, are we?’
Basil Fawlty:
My great-grandfather on my mother's side was a doctor, so it was always felt I might become a doctor too..
" A kind heart always brings its own reward," said Mrs. Lee.
- The Christmas Tree Aeroplane -

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Eddie Muir
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

Here are a few of the great Tommy Cooper’s jokes:


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
'Go down to the side-shows by the river this afternoon. I'll meet you somewhere in disguise. Bet you won't know me!' wrote Fatty.

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Anita Bensoussane
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Re: Jokes

Post by Anita Bensoussane »

Excellent, Eddie! :lol:
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Lucky Star
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lucky Star »

Classic one liners Eddie. Tommy Cooper was very funny. :D
"What a lot of trouble one avoids if one refuses to have anything to do with the common herd. To have no job, to devote ones life to literature, is the most wonderful thing in the world. - Cicero

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Eddie Muir
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

I’m glad you liked them, Anita and John. Tommy was indeed very funny. His very appearance on stage made me laugh even before he said anything. A rare comedy talent. :lol:
'Go down to the side-shows by the river this afternoon. I'll meet you somewhere in disguise. Bet you won't know me!' wrote Fatty.

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Rob Houghton
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Re: Jokes

Post by Rob Houghton »

I loved Tommy Cooper - it was his face more than anything, and the way he delivered his one-liners so naturally. I can remember when he died - on stage on live TV. :(
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Eddie Muir
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

I also remember when Tommy died. At first I thought what was happening was part of his act. Very, very sad.
'Go down to the side-shows by the river this afternoon. I'll meet you somewhere in disguise. Bet you won't know me!' wrote Fatty.

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Rob Houghton
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Re: Jokes

Post by Rob Houghton »

Eddie Muir wrote:I also remember when Tommy died. At first I thought what was happening was part of his act. Very, very sad.
I think we all did - he went behind a curtain and fell over, I think. On the other hand, what a great way to go for someone who was a natural performer and loved being on stage!


A 'joke' I saw the other day reminded me of a modern version of a Tommy Cooper type quip -

"My wife asked me for £200 for a new sat nav. I told her she could get lost... 8)
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Courtenay
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Re: Jokes

Post by Courtenay »

Groan (in the nicest possible way) to all of them. :lol: :lol: :lol: Except I don't get the HP sauce one, but I'm not sure if that's due to my non-Britishness or general stupidity... :shock: :oops:

I had heard of Tommy Cooper, but had no idea he died on stage and on live TV — how awful, but then, as you say, Rob, at least it was a fitting way to go.
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It was a nuisance. An adventure was one thing - but an adventure without anything to eat was quite another thing. That wouldn't do at all. (The Valley of Adventure)
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